I think I’m gonna be sick…
Friday, June 10th, 2005Refuge is a residential program in Memphis, Tenn. designed to cure addictive behaviors like drinking, drugs, and homosexuality. It is run by Love In Action Intl, and John Smid, an ex-gay man who found Jesus and realized that he could help others cure themselves of this affliction. Well, I’ll let Refuge say it themselves:
Refuge is a ministry designed to be a safe place for young people and their families to find true freedom from addictions through the power of Jesus Christ. At this time Refuge is an outpatient program for young men and women ages 13-18. Refuge is designed to minister to adolescents struggling with broken and addictive behaviors such as
-Pornography
-Drugs and alcohol
-Sexual Promescuity
-Homosexuality
A young man named Zach recently was sent there after coming out to his parents, and has been discussing his experience on his blog. He also posted the rules of the place, an incredibly strict set of hygiene, appearance, and conduct guidelines designed to make happy little robots of these kids. Some excerpts follow, but it really is worth looking through the entire document, this stuff is incredible:
Men: Shirts are to be worn at all times, even while sleeping. T-shirts without sleeves are not permitted at any time, whether worn as an outer garment or an undergarment.
Men: Men must remove all facial hair seven days weekly, and sideburns must not fall below the top of the ear (the top of the ear is defined as where the ear meets the face below the temple). Clean business-like haircuts must be worn at all times. Hair must be long enough to be pinched between two fingers.
Women: Women must shave legs and underarms at least twice weekly.
All: Only natural hair color is allowed. Hair that is colored, highlighted or streaked, mut be dyed back to its original color, or the color must be cut out before entrance into the Refuge program.No hugging or physical touch between clients. Brief handshakes or a brief affirmative hand on a shoulder is allowed (exception is when observed by therapeutic accountability).
Zach has been very open on his blog about coming out and his camp experience, and has been receiving emotional support from all over the Internet, and is quite enlightening on just how damaging “Christian” parents can be to their gay children:
Well today, my mother, father, and I had a very long “talk” in my room where they let me know I am to apply for a fundamentalist christian program for gays. They tell me that there is something psychologically wrong with me, and they “raised me wrong.” I’m a big screw up to them, who isn’t on the path God wants me to be on. So I’m sitting here in tears, joing the rest of those kids who complain about their parents on blogs – and I can’t help it.
I guess there wasn’t a Commandment about honoring their children, so they’re in the clear, right?
I’m just so horrified by this news it’s beyond words. Not simply Zach’s case, but the very philosophy behind this institution, to treat homosexuality as comparable to alcoholism is abhorrent. And instead of “curing” them, the only results I can imagine this institution getting is isolating and teaching kids to hate themselves in some of the most formative, self-doubting and lonely years of their lives.